Oceans

I feel led to make this post. It is a lot more personal than anything I’ve posted before, but it feels right to be posting this now.

For the past year or so, I have been struggling to hear God

I’ve not done anything differently, or done anything ‘wrong’

Nothing terribly sad or bad has happened to me or anyone I love

I’ve continued spiritual practices of reading the Bible and praying as much as I did before

But I can’t hear God

What’s even stranger, is I can hear him if he is saying something about others or for the direction my work should take.

But when it comes to hearing him personally, there is just silence.

Through this silence, the Bible passage my mind keeps being drawn to is Jesus and Peter walking on water.

My mind first began contemplating this story is a worship song by Hillsong called ‘Oceans (Where feet may fail)’. I came across it in May for the first time, and it just encapsulated what I had been experiencing in those past few months (video of music and lyrics at the end of the blog).

There are three lines from the song that resonated with me the most:

‘I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves’,

‘Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders’, and

‘My faith will be made stronger in the presence of my saviour’.

Why did these resonate so much with me? What were they saying?

‘I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves’

Through all this time of ‘spiritual dryness’ (not hearing from or feeling the presence of God near), I have continued to call to the Lord in prayer, but I’ve maybe not been so great at keeping my eyes above the waves.

Sometimes the waves have drawn my attention instead of God.

These words reminded me that its important to keep looking above the troubles as well as calling God’s name. How else will we know where his hand is when he comes to our help? The other advantage of keeping our eyes fixed away from the troubles is we can focus on the bigger picture, or on what God has done for us in the past. Reminding ourselves of what God has done in the past can give us new strength to keep pressing on seeking him in whatever is going on.

‘Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders’

Trust. It’s a complex thing.

How much do we trust God?

It’s easy to trust him in the good times, but is your trust without borders?

Being human, we like our borders. Borders make us feel safe.

I feel that the past few months I’ve been taken beyond my borders. Trusting God has gotten hard, particularly as he doesn’t seem to be speaking to me, except to speak to others.

The point of trust is it’s a continuous exercise. Trust is a decision that needs to be made daily, or even hourly, every moment! Deciding to trust God can be tough, but I think we can sometimes want or make the process to be more complex than it is.

All it takes is a short prayer, but prayed with conviction.

“I choose to place my trust in you God”

There. Simple.

Now, mean it.

I’m trying to pray this prayer whenever I feel my trust wavering. It’s not always easy, but it is helping.

‘My faith will be made stronger in the presence of my saviour’

How is our faith made stronger?

By spending time with the object of our faith – God.

It’s difficult to keep going with a daily prayer and Bible reading time when it feels like God isn’t there. But by pushing on with the practice and seeking God, our faith will be made stronger.

The past year or so has been difficult

But through continuing to trust and spend time with God, I know he’s still there.

I think he’s just speaking to me differently than he has before.

And I just need to learn to listen to him in a new way.

I’m not there yet, but I need to keep my eyes fixed on him, keep walking on the water, and keep my eyes above the waves.

Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. “A ghost!” they said, crying out in terror.

But Jesus was quick to comfort them. “Courage, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.”

Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”

He said, “Come ahead.”

Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”

Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?”

(Matthew 14:24-31, MSG)

Worship

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about worship.

(In this post, I will mainly be talking about sung worship, but the thoughts about attitude and approach to worship can cross into other forms of worship, and they are just as valid as sung worship. I’m just speaking from my own experience and personal worship style.)

At a recent Christian event I attended, the times of sung worship left me feeling frustrated after a few days.

Why?

Because we had only sung songs about what God had done for us and how he leads us out of dark times, heals us, does stuff for us.

There was nothing about how great God is, just because that’s who he is. There was nothing about how we should praise God just to praise him, because it’s demanded of us.

Don’t misunderstand me, there is nothing inherently wrong with singing songs about how God helps us in difficult times, but if that’s the only reason we’re worshipping God, then something’s gone wrong,

Singing too much about how God helped ‘me’, how ‘I’ am loved by God, etc. can affect our perception of God, and lead to us subconsciously thinking we deserve this love and assistance, either because we’re so great or that’s what God should do for those he loves.

One way to see if this falseness has entered your heart is, when things go wrong, do you get mad at God when he doesn’t instantly take everything bad away?

There was a song we used to sing when I was in Sunday School called ‘Have we made our God too small?’

God is deserving of praise and worship; not because of anything he’s done, but because he’s GOD. When we fail to worship him for who he is, we risk making him our personal genie or wishing well, and only thank him when he does something for us. We can forget he is the great I AM. The ‘I AM’ that created the universe. The ‘I AM’ that angels sing Holy, Holy, Holy before day and night. The ‘I AM’ that will one day recreate the heavens and the earth, and could easily blot us out of existence because there is no way we can be as holy as him.

We make him too small.

We still need the songs that remind us of what God has done for us, otherwise we are in danger of never coming to God because we fear he won’t care or intervene, but they need to be balanced.

Not all of us have a lot of say about the songs we sing in church on Sundays, but for those who do put the worship together, take some time to consider what message the songs you use put across to your congregation. You have a responsibility to your congregation; to ensure they are receiving good theology in every aspect of the service, not just from your sermon. Not everyone will listen to what you say, but they receive through the songs and other worship opportunities you provide. Make sure you’re clear in everything you lead.

And for those of us who don’t have a lot of say in the worship at our churches, you are responsible for how you worship during the week (yes, it’s more than a Sunday thing!). What worship songs do you listen to during the week? What Bible passages do you read? How do you worship? Take some time to consider where your heart is in worship, and whether you need to change anything.

It's time to rest. Pick up your phone

On Saturday, I attended the Youthwork Summit in Manchester. The Youthwork Summit is a one day event that features many great youth workers and Christians speaking for just 10-15 minutes on a topic (very similar to the TED conferences in USA).

For me, the most inspiring and though provoking topic was on helping young people find rest in a hyper connected culture from Sarah Percival.

With all the new ways of internet usage, how do we encourage people to find the rest God gave us in the Bible (Shabbat)?

Should we put our phones down, turn our computers off, and hide from the internet?

No.

During her talk, Sarah challenged us that instead of telling our young people to put their phones away and switch them off, to ask them how we can use them as part of our rest.

She explained how she had done this with her youth group. They opened the Bible to see what it said about rest at Exodus 20:8-11

 “Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. You have six days each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God. On that day no one in your household may do any work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. For in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; but on the seventh day he rested. That is why the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy.” 

(NLT)

This passage demands 3 things from the Sabbath:

1.       Stop work

2.       Do it together

3.       Honour God.

There is no reason we can not do these 3 things on our phones.

Its about how we use them.

We need to get creative.

Sarah challenged us to take up our phones and explore Shabbat with our young people in this way. What new and exciting things may we discover about ourselves and God as we do?

There will still be moments when it is useful to switch our phones off, but have we missed something by ignoring the possibilities they present?

Share your ideas and take up the challenge of rest with your phone through the comments or the ALOVE Anglia facebook and twitter accounts.

Extravagant waste

I went to fill my car with petrol yesterday at the local Sainsburys petrol station. As normal, I presented my Nectar card to get my Nectar points.

I don’t know how much you know about ‘Nectar’ and Sainsburys, but when you swipe your Nectar card, you sometimes receive a voucher to use next time you visit the store which gives you extra points, or money off, etc.

Yesterday’s voucher promised me 200 bonus Nectar points if I spend more than £50 in Sainsburys by 7^th May.

Here are some facts for you:

·         I live alone
·         My average weekly shop costs less than £20
·         I’m away on The Big Adventure (Children’s Adventure camp ) this weekend
·         I start Live Below the Line on Tuesday (6^th May)

And yet, when I got the voucher, I immediately began thinking if I could possibly spend £50 before it ran out! It’s crazy! Never mind the fact I’m only meant to live off 10% of that next week for Live Below the Line.

And when I thought of that challenge, I was shocked at this behaviour.

How many people must spend more than they need to get extra ‘points’ or similar because they were given a voucher? 

How much additional ‘stuff’ do they buy that would otherwise not have been purchased? 

And how much of it ends up in the bin?

Although I have yet to start the Live Below the Line challenge, even signing up has made me reconsider my spending habits and realise how fortunate we are.

I do not need to spend £50 on a weekly shop, but I could manage it if I wanted to. I could spend it on clothes and games and chocolate and lots of other stuff I don’t need, and I could afford to do it too.

But there are 1.2 billion people who live on less than 10% of that.

God cares about each and every one of them.

And we can make a difference.

Once again, I ask you to join me for any 5 consecutive days before 30^th June and live below the line. You can sign up here and then search for ‘Anglia Division’ to join our team.

If you are unable to participate in the challenge, please donate here. Any donation, big or small, will make a difference.

Time flies

I can’t believe it – I’ve been here over year now! And what a year! I wanted to take some time reflecting on all the stuff that’s happened, what God’s been saying, and what I hope for the future!

Firstly, let’s start by looking back on all the Divisional activities that have happened.

When I first arrived here, I had about six weeks to prepare for my first ever summer school! Looking back, I’ve no idea how I did it, but at the time I loved every second of those few weeks as I learnt to swim in the deep end. I had only ever been to one summer school as a student, and never been on staff, so it was a real learning curve! The week itself was fantastic – the best start to a job anyone could wish for! – and helped me settle in. If you want to hear more about the week, you can find the review here.

In some ways, starting with such a high left me a little down for the following few months, but I worked through it and got out and about to meet young people, youth leaders, and Corps Officers around the division. I also spent time preparing for the youth worship event in November (Boundless: The Adventure Continues) which gave another good opportunity to meet people, and re-launch the Anglia Youth Chorus!

In the run up to the New Year, I spent time praying for this year and the young people within the division. It was a great time, and I felt God was really encouraging us to be courageous this year. And this challenge has not left me. I often find myself being reminded about this message and finding situations that require me to be courageous in my personal life, spiritual life, and decisions for the division. Again, if you want to read more about the challenge, you can find the blog post here.

Soon enough, Youth Councils arrived. The day was spent thinking about Holiness and the ALOVE theme for the year – ‘…. Water’. More about what we did can be read here.

And now, I find myself once again in the run up to the East Midlands and Anglia Summer School (EMASS). We’re just over 2 weeks away (it’s earlier this year), and I’m experiencing the same feelings of excitement and nerves as last year! This year, our focus is on going deeper into our discipleship through exploring the passages in the Bible about Jesus and water (spot the theme yet?). It’s going to be a great week, so if you’re coming, get excited! If you’re not coming, then keep an eye out for the review post in the weeks following EMASS. You could also join us on the Wednesday night (31^st July) for an evening of illusion with Steve Price (£2) or for the Final Celebration on Saturday night (3^rd August, £5). Please message me for more details.

Now for the coming year and beyond – what do I hope? Where do I see things going? I want to develop the discipleship of young people within the division and encourage the leadership skills within them. I want to see every young person in the division come to have a full and deep relationship with God; reaching their God-given potential and following his will for their lives. I want young people to become more involved and invested in the running and organising of divisional events. In short, I have the same vision as I did 12 months ago, and I continue to trust in God that his will is best, and I will do my best to follow his path.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

The Christian Fandom

Have you ever heard of a 'fandom'? Or a 'fan girl' or 'fan boy'?

If you ever speak to anyone who knows me well, you will soon discover just how much of a fan girl I am regarding certain musicians, tv shows, and books. I can't begin to tell you how many hours I've spent waiting at stage doors or hotels to get a photo or autograph, or how much money I've spent attending concerts, conventions, and buying merchandise. I have travelled for hours to perform flash mobs in the snow and rain (I’m in the row on the left, second from the back, with the yellow bag over my shoulder; just in case you didn’t believe me). I have also made a large number of good friends through our shared fandoms. For the vast majority of my teenage life, and to some extent still, I would know all the information about what was happening in the future of the pop star or actor's life or tv plot line weeks before any of my friends or family had a clue. This is a fan girl, or boy. You may have one as a friend, family member, or be one yourself.

A 'fandom' is the name for the things fan girls and boys 'fan' over. For example, I belong to the Harry Potter fandom, the Doctor Who fandom, and the Tolkien fandom, to name but a few. Other fandoms are the Justin Beiber fandom, the Star Trek fandom, and the

But I want to put before you: The Christian Fandom.

‘How can Christianity be a fandom?’ I hear you ask. Very simply, there are some people who are fans of Christianity. They enjoy going to church, hearing the sermons, singing the songs, attending retreats and festivals, spending time with other ‘fans’, etc. They know their Bible back to front and will always win a game of Biblical Trivial Pursuit. Fans are different to followers. A lot of fans will think they are followers. The difference?

Relationship!

A fans relationship with the object of their fandom is detached, impersonal, and all about head knowledge. A follower, or friend, of the person has a deeper connection with them, knows more about their everyday life, and there is a two way relationship.

When a fan meets their favourite actor/musician/etc., they ask for an autograph, or a picture. When a friend of that person meets them, they share a conversation about their life; they support one another.

A follower of Christ has this two way relationship with God. They meet with him often, and share their life with him. A fan of Christ will go through the religious motions, but never connect on the deeper level.

Jesus met a lot of fans. Ever heard about the Rich Young Man?

¹⁷ As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
¹⁸ “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. ¹⁹ You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.”
²⁰ “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”
²¹ Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
²² At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.
(Mark 10: 17 – 22, NIV)

And what about the crowd of 5000 that followed Jesus after being fed? They were huge fans – wanting to see him again, but not for the right reasons. They wanted to be fed again (John 6).  And what of the fans of the Jewish faith? The Pharisees and Sadducees would have called themselves the greatest followers of all, yet Jesus’ teaching always warns people away from them and to not follow their example.

In Matthew 7, Jesus describes what will happen to the fans when they meet him:

²¹ “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. ²² Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ ²³ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
(Matthew 7:21 – 23, NIV)

The importance of relationship here is key. While the fans did a great many things, Jesus says he did not know them. They had no relationship with him.

Fandom is heavily influenced by feelings. Fans will describe themselves as having ‘feels’ for certain characters, or ‘ships’ (romantic pairings - there are even ‘ship names’). Fans have lots of emotion about their fandom. But when the feelings diminish (from lack of new series/books, or time, age, etc), fans become a lot less enthusiastic. As I said before, I have been a part of a large number of fandoms, but each has had its own time in the spotlight. When my feelings change, I become less involved. Something new has come along that I feel more passionately about. For example, as a teenager, I absolutely LOVED McFly. Now, I enjoy listening to their music occaisionally, but I spend more time watching Doctor Who or reading books by George R R Martin.

The same is true of fans of Christianity. When everything is good, or they feel particularly ‘close’ to God, or go to one of their festivals – no one could be more committed! When things get tough, fans wander away until things get good again and they feel like being a follower again. But true followers stick around for the long term, and don't act upon their feelings. True relationships are so much more than feelings. Good friends stick together even when things are hard. Good relationships last even when you don’t feel like being together, because of the commitment. And you get past the bad times and negative feelings together. The same is true of our relationship with Christ.

I could delve a lot more into this topic. But I just wanted to start your own thinking on this issue. My thinking was sparked by a book called ‘Not a Fan’ by Kyle Idleman (I’m reading the teen edition – well I am a youth worker!), and I have spent a long time considering the nature of my relationship with God. While I am not a fan, it has inspired me to follow God even more closely than before.

And that’s what I wanted to do; to encourage you to reflect upon whether you are truly a follower of Christ, or just a fan. How committed is your relationship with Christ? Will he ‘know you’ when the time comes?