Oceans

I feel led to make this post. It is a lot more personal than anything I’ve posted before, but it feels right to be posting this now.

For the past year or so, I have been struggling to hear God

I’ve not done anything differently, or done anything ‘wrong’

Nothing terribly sad or bad has happened to me or anyone I love

I’ve continued spiritual practices of reading the Bible and praying as much as I did before

But I can’t hear God

What’s even stranger, is I can hear him if he is saying something about others or for the direction my work should take.

But when it comes to hearing him personally, there is just silence.

Through this silence, the Bible passage my mind keeps being drawn to is Jesus and Peter walking on water.

My mind first began contemplating this story is a worship song by Hillsong called ‘Oceans (Where feet may fail)’. I came across it in May for the first time, and it just encapsulated what I had been experiencing in those past few months (video of music and lyrics at the end of the blog).

There are three lines from the song that resonated with me the most:

‘I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves’,

‘Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders’, and

‘My faith will be made stronger in the presence of my saviour’.

Why did these resonate so much with me? What were they saying?

‘I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves’

Through all this time of ‘spiritual dryness’ (not hearing from or feeling the presence of God near), I have continued to call to the Lord in prayer, but I’ve maybe not been so great at keeping my eyes above the waves.

Sometimes the waves have drawn my attention instead of God.

These words reminded me that its important to keep looking above the troubles as well as calling God’s name. How else will we know where his hand is when he comes to our help? The other advantage of keeping our eyes fixed away from the troubles is we can focus on the bigger picture, or on what God has done for us in the past. Reminding ourselves of what God has done in the past can give us new strength to keep pressing on seeking him in whatever is going on.

‘Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders’

Trust. It’s a complex thing.

How much do we trust God?

It’s easy to trust him in the good times, but is your trust without borders?

Being human, we like our borders. Borders make us feel safe.

I feel that the past few months I’ve been taken beyond my borders. Trusting God has gotten hard, particularly as he doesn’t seem to be speaking to me, except to speak to others.

The point of trust is it’s a continuous exercise. Trust is a decision that needs to be made daily, or even hourly, every moment! Deciding to trust God can be tough, but I think we can sometimes want or make the process to be more complex than it is.

All it takes is a short prayer, but prayed with conviction.

“I choose to place my trust in you God”

There. Simple.

Now, mean it.

I’m trying to pray this prayer whenever I feel my trust wavering. It’s not always easy, but it is helping.

‘My faith will be made stronger in the presence of my saviour’

How is our faith made stronger?

By spending time with the object of our faith – God.

It’s difficult to keep going with a daily prayer and Bible reading time when it feels like God isn’t there. But by pushing on with the practice and seeking God, our faith will be made stronger.

The past year or so has been difficult

But through continuing to trust and spend time with God, I know he’s still there.

I think he’s just speaking to me differently than he has before.

And I just need to learn to listen to him in a new way.

I’m not there yet, but I need to keep my eyes fixed on him, keep walking on the water, and keep my eyes above the waves.

Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. “A ghost!” they said, crying out in terror.

But Jesus was quick to comfort them. “Courage, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.”

Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”

He said, “Come ahead.”

Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”

Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?”

(Matthew 14:24-31, MSG)

Extravagant waste

I went to fill my car with petrol yesterday at the local Sainsburys petrol station. As normal, I presented my Nectar card to get my Nectar points.

I don’t know how much you know about ‘Nectar’ and Sainsburys, but when you swipe your Nectar card, you sometimes receive a voucher to use next time you visit the store which gives you extra points, or money off, etc.

Yesterday’s voucher promised me 200 bonus Nectar points if I spend more than £50 in Sainsburys by 7^th May.

Here are some facts for you:

·         I live alone
·         My average weekly shop costs less than £20
·         I’m away on The Big Adventure (Children’s Adventure camp ) this weekend
·         I start Live Below the Line on Tuesday (6^th May)

And yet, when I got the voucher, I immediately began thinking if I could possibly spend £50 before it ran out! It’s crazy! Never mind the fact I’m only meant to live off 10% of that next week for Live Below the Line.

And when I thought of that challenge, I was shocked at this behaviour.

How many people must spend more than they need to get extra ‘points’ or similar because they were given a voucher? 

How much additional ‘stuff’ do they buy that would otherwise not have been purchased? 

And how much of it ends up in the bin?

Although I have yet to start the Live Below the Line challenge, even signing up has made me reconsider my spending habits and realise how fortunate we are.

I do not need to spend £50 on a weekly shop, but I could manage it if I wanted to. I could spend it on clothes and games and chocolate and lots of other stuff I don’t need, and I could afford to do it too.

But there are 1.2 billion people who live on less than 10% of that.

God cares about each and every one of them.

And we can make a difference.

Once again, I ask you to join me for any 5 consecutive days before 30^th June and live below the line. You can sign up here and then search for ‘Anglia Division’ to join our team.

If you are unable to participate in the challenge, please donate here. Any donation, big or small, will make a difference.

Let's Dance

On Palm Sunday (13th April), the Anglia Youth Band led the meetings at Stowmarket Corps. This post contains the message I gave at the evening service.

The next day, the news that Jesus was on the way to Jerusalem swept through the city. A large crowd of Passover visitors took palm branches and went down the road to meet him. They shouted,

“Praise God!

Blessings on the one who comes in the name of the Lord!

Hail to the King of Israel!”

Jesus found a young donkey and rode on it, fulfilling the prophecy that said:

“Don’t be afraid, people of Jerusalem.

Look, your King is coming,

    riding on a donkey’s colt.”

His disciples didn’t understand at the time that this was a fulfillment of prophecy. But after Jesus entered into his glory, they remembered what had happened and realized that these things had been written about him.

Many in the crowd had seen Jesus call Lazarus from the tomb, raising him from the dead, and they were telling others about it. That was the reason so many went out to meet him—because they had heard about this miraculous sign.

John 12:12-18 (NLT)

Imagine Jerusalem on that first Palm Sunday. You’re heading to the city for the Passover. As you approach, you hear people shouting and singing, you see a crowd gathering along the road, waving palm leaves. You go over to investigate, and ask ‘What’s going on?’

“It’s Jesus!” someone replies. “Have you not heard of him? Have you not heard of all he’s done?! Only a few days ago he raised Lazarus from the dead – that guy over there! He’d been dead for FOUR DAYS! And this guy raised him! He must be the Messiah!”

How excited would that make you? You have been waiting centuries for the promised Messiah! Would you not also go and get Palm leaves and join with the crowd?

According to this passage in John, this is what happened at that first Palm Sunday. In verse 12, we read that ‘the news Jesus was on the way… swept through the city’, and verse 18 says ‘many went out to meet him because they had heard about this miraculous sign’ – which is referring to the resurrection of Lazarus. It is the good news of all Jesus has done that drew the crowds that day.

Most of the people in the crowd are unlikely to have had a personal experience of Jesus’ miracles, and yet they are there, cheering his arrival. Over the past 3 years, they must have heard so many stories, maybe even known someone who was at the feeding of the 5000, or one of his other miracles. They praised because someone had shared their good news.

How often is this still true today? Many people begin their journey towards God by hearing of what he has done for others, by hearing their personal experiences. They may never have experienced God in their own life yet, but they can get excited and be just as joyful as we are when they hear of the good things God is doing in our life.

By sharing our experiences of God, we are saying ‘Let’s dance’ to those around us. We’re inviting them to join in the experience themselves, and through rejoicing in our experience, they can come to experience God for themselves. When we talk of a dance, we don't just talk of physical dance and praise, but a dance is a relationship. As well as praising God, we are inviting those who do not know him into a relationship with him. 

And this isn’t just for those who don’t know God. Sharing our experiences and inviting each other to dance is just as important. It can encourage those of us who are downcast and remind us of how faithful God is.

When we dance in praise before God, he draws near to us, and he then begins to teach us how to dance his way, keeping in step with him. 

The Condition of the Court

It will come as no surprise, I’m sure, that we are half way through Wimbledon fortnight. Now, I’m not a big tennis fan, and Wimbledon fortnight is something that I only really acknowledge due to the change in the TV schedule, but I did notice the news about players slipping and injuring themselves due to the condition of the courts. Many of the great names complained and withdrew from the competition because of this, including Sharapova, Federer, and Tsonga.

 

While some players are blaming the courts, the officials say they are in almost identical condition to last year and that the courts always gain grip throughout the competition. Andy Murray has been quoted as saying it’s a surprise this hasn’t happened before and that it is a statistical anomaly that the big names have got through to the later rounds for so long. Other players already had injuries that they were recovering from, or there were other issues than purely the condition of the court. As I’ve already said, I’m not a big tennis fan and so I can’t really comment on the how these various factors can contribute to slips and falls in a tennis match, but the reactions of some of the big names has caused me to pause and consider.

In life, we all experience highs and lows. Just as the big names of tennis have gotten through to the latter stages of Wimbledon for a number of years, often the good times can last a long time. It becomes a normal occurrence. Then, when things the tough times come back, when we start slipping and falling more than usual, we often blame the surroundings, or the most obvious reason for our failure – ‘The court is not up to standard’. When the tennis stars started slipping, it was the courts fault. Many did not look to other reasons. It was the courts fault they were not doing as well as normal. Not theirs. 

Since leaving the competition, I don’t know if the stars have looked at the other possibilities for their slips, but the officials and experts have, and found other possibilities for the anomaly. Often, we need to step back from the immediate situation, and explore the other possibilities, or we need to invite someone else into our life to help us identify what may be the underlying causes of our troubles. Maybe it is our ego that is clouding our judgement on the situation, so we lash out at everything else, and inviting someone we trust to help us can offer us a fresh perspective on what is really going on.

The most important thing we should remember, however, is that God is there throughout, helping and supporting us, in both the good time and the bad.

So don’t blame the condition of your court of life; stop and reflect on the other possible causes. Ask God to help you discern the cause, and He will be with you through it all.